DTL 014 | Lynne Maureen Hurdle

Will Life Challenges Really Stop Me? No! With Lynne Maureen Hurdle

Lynne Maureen Hurdle is a Conflict Resolution Strategist, Facilitator, Speaker, and Coach. She has been in this field for over 40 years and helps business owners leverage their conflict resolution skills to be better leaders. Her skills help bring a new dialogue into the company culture so that it can be a more inclusive and diverse place to work. What’s holding you back from leaping into your business? Lynne gives you the push you need to get started.


Will Life Challenges Really Stop Me? No! With Lynne Maureen Hurdle

Hello, everybody. I have the great pleasure of interviewing a close friend and colleague of mine, her name is Lynne Maureen Hurdle. And I’m going to tell you just a little bit about her personally, and then I will give you her professional bio. And then I’m gonna let her start talking and who knows where this will go. Because she’s already offered to bring out the tequila. Yes, we are tequila buddies. Lynne and I met several years ago in a high-end mastermind group.

And I will tell you that immediately, I knew that she was a brilliant woman who I had to get to know more. And I found out that she was a conflict resolution strategist and oh my goodness, I was so scared of conflict, I avoided it on every turn, I did not want to deal with conflict. I thought it was a negative thing. And then I started working with Lynne. And I worked privately with Lynne to learn more about how to resolve conflict, that conflict can actually be a positive thing. And then I began to work with Lynne on how to be a stronger leader.

And Lynne took me by the hand and taught me very kindly, but with all the strengths that she has, which you’ll hear in just a minute, how to be a good leader, how to step up as a leader. And most recently, over the last two years, I’ve been working with Lynne, about racism. Yes, I am a white woman who did not know I had white privilege. And I’m still trying to figure out why I didn’t know this, why I didn’t see this. And I just started Lynne’s third level of that program last night.

And I will tell you that this whole experience with Lynne has changed my entire life for the better. I’ve stepped more into who I’ve always wanted to be, but didn’t know how to be with Lynne’s help. So, I hope that makes you go oh my gosh, I have got to get to know who this woman is. But let me tell you a little bit about her professionally. She’s a communications expert.

And as I mentioned, a conflict resolution strategist. She’s a facilitator, a speaker and a leadership coach with over 35 years. But oh, lady, let me tell you, if you aren’t watching us on YouTube, get on there now and check her out. With over 35 years of experience in blending the connection between communication, conflict and culture into her own unique style of engagement for leaders.

She’s also a TEDx speaker, and the offer author of the best seller, closing conflict for leaders how to be a bold leader and develop a kick-ass high functioning happy AF team. And our expertise is in engaging my clients with creative process designed to create dialogue and teach skills that can be used in the most difficult leadership situations. And I don’t know that I’ve had the most difficult.

I’ve had challenging ones. But guess what, by working with Lynne, I’ve learned how to handle those. And not only just handle them, but really feel like a success. So, thank you so much for being here today.

Oh, thank you Kathy for having me. Wow. I love the intro. Thank you so much. It is my honor. And pleasure to be here today. Yes, and hello to everyone who’s watching and listening. Thanks for tuning in. It is quite a ride. I was saying to Kathy before we turned on the cameras and the recording that I love the Dare To Leap, that I just love that title because first of all to dare requires such bravery, right and then to leap like who might dare to maybe take a little step but that’s got me written all over it. But that’s really neat. And so I’m really excited to be having a conversation with you today.

So, you know, I was thinking about that Dare to Leap and for me it starts very early in my career, because I actually had no idea that this was what I was going to do. Because I grew up in the arts, I knew that I was going to be a performer and I knew that I was going to go to college, and that I was going to study theater, most likely because I loved acting, but I also sang I also danced, I wrote, I still do all these things, I write all kinds of things, from poetry, to plays to television shows, movies, so I knew I’m going to do the whole performance thing and be a star. And at 17 years old, everything changed for me.

And I didn’t know that it was going to because I experienced a racial incident that really changed my life on a bus and the bus stopped a mile from my home. And suddenly, we’re surrounded by 50 young white men, red bandanas and baseball bats, who are screaming for the N, the N word to come out and I look around, it’s just me, and two other black people in the buses crowded. And so I knew that I was in trouble. And they tried to tip over the bus. And the only thing that stopped them is across the street, came a bus filled with black high school kids. And so I was able to get off the bus with another young man who was my age who was lost because it was his first week in the neighborhood. And I took him home and on my way home from his house, I hear this voice that saying, I don’t know how but somehow I think my purpose is to bring people together around this issue. And I remember that so clearly.

Because I never ever, ever thought that in my life. I certainly never thought I’d be doing something to help people do anything but to smile and cheer me on, you know. You’re talking out people have these conversations. And so how would it how it happened, I already knew I was going to Syracuse University in New York, and they had a very prestigious theater program. And my sophomore year, I transferred into their brand-new program on nonviolent conflict and change. And without a hesitation I took the dare to leap to my calling. And I’ve been in the field of conflict resolution, really ever since then.

And it has been an incredible ride. Because I started out, I actually got a job in the field, and was doing consulting part time. You know, like, vacation days, and if anybody did, we can kind of things. And I just got so popular built up such a clientele that everybody’s like, okay, but we can never use you during the week. When are you going to leave your job? I’m like, wow, like, leave my job. Okay, because no one had ever did. You know, I grow up with parents that are like, you know, you work the same job your whole life. Just like, wow, leave my job? So once again, basically what I did was when my first son came along, and he is 25.

Now, so I just did the leap to say, Okay, I don’t want to work for anybody while I’m a mother. So, I’m going to see how I can do as a consultant, a contractor, and I have to be honest, thank God I had us and would help insurance because I was working. So, it consultants field of non-profits don’t pay you well, Oh, we don’t pay consultants well, and definitely don’t pay them regularly. I mean, to have the kinds of conversations, I had to get paid to just get my check. Talk about daring to leap, I was waiting to leap on some people.

I check my right to get back. So, I did that for so many years, like 30 years. And I just said, Wow, something’s really wrong. And I Need to see what it is. So, I decided to hire a coach. And the same coach you and I, Jennifer Kam, that’s how we met. You came on a couple of years after me. But that’s what I decided. I said, I’m taking this leap and invest in my business so that I can get paid what I know I’m worth getting paid, because I just never believed I did believe for a long time. That, okay, I’m not worth a lot of money, they’re not going to pay me well. This is my lot in life. And I just said, No, that’s not sitting well with me.

And so to actually invest in a coach, and actually learn how to put myself out there, I was approached by because of work that I did a workshop that I did, I was approached by someone, three years later. And she said, I am booking people for Ted Talks, and I remembered you, like three woman for one weekend for a workshop on conflict resolution. And she remembered me. And that’s how I got my TED Talk. And I just found that things just started really rolling. Once I took the leap to say, I’m going to invest in making sure that I get what I’m worth. And because I work, the way I work now is the way I was working for it, honestly, 10 times less. So, it’s not like they weren’t getting anything less. I was just the only one getting with us.

So, Jen has taught us. I can hear Jen saying to you now, girl, go get your money! And you went get your money!

I went and got my money, I’m still going to get my money. And I’m still working on that end of things of really making sure that I’m getting what I’m worth, and everybody that hires me is getting what they know what they want. Right? Because I’m going to deliver, that’s the piece I never had – to deliver. I never had that confidence piece. That’s why I over deliver. And I’m okay with that, because I will definitely catch up on the money and up things.

But I know that the confidence piece was never my issue. I knew what I was doing. So that piece because I know sometimes that’s an issue for folks like, Am I really good enough? Or will people really pay me this? I’m not really sure. Because I’m not sure how good I am. And that was never my issue. My issue was I had believed that I wasn’t worth the money. Nobody was really going to pay me the money.

And there weren’t people out there who could value you the way you should be valued. And that if you’re working with nonprofits, they can often convince you that they don’t have money now some of them don’t. But some of them have a lot of money.

That’s right. But yes, too late, I discovered that. But as long as they know, you’re buy the party line, you know, for folks out there, as long as they know that you will buy the party line, then absolutely they’re not going to offer you more because they like okay, they’re not going to question and I’m gonna push back. And I never did, the only thing I pushed on was getting my check and you know, I had quite a reputation. You know, your reputation was you better me. And that’s a good reputation to have a great reputation.

Especially when you’re being underpaid, because it’s bad enough, you’re being underpaid, but then you never get your check. No, at least one minute was ridiculous and so on. And now you know, having that coach I know how, Jen was the one that said, You know what, well, let’s get some money upfront. What are you waiting off, right all till the end? It’s your money upfront. And I said, I don’t think they’ll do that. She’s like, Go ask him. And I did and they did. That’s what I’m saying. Right?  asked and they did it.

Yeah. And talk a little bit about what you’re up to these days, because I know you’ve dared to leap in a couple of different things.

So, you know, you get the kind of hot off the press thing around this piece, which is. So, I’m writing a television pilot. But what I haven’t shared is that I’m actually not planning to leave the business. I’m planning to grow an additional side of the business. I’m planning to add a production company to the conflict resolution business that I already have.

That’s exciting.

Yeah. So that that’s the piece. And so yeah, I’m that’s my intention is to really have this as a piece because my, my writing the stories that I intend to tell, you know, everybody has to have conflict in their stories. But to me, there are stories missing about the various ways that people engage in and resolve conflict. It seems to me like we have this one model where everybody like yells at each other and praises each other out and name calls or fights with each other. I mean, that’s a model that’s real.

It’s the dare to leap thing. I asked and my clients did it. Click To Tweet

Okay, but if that’s what’s happening now, a lot of times yeah, we’re seeing and I want the stories out there of people who are much more complex than that and who really struggle around conflict but engage in it right and do it in very different ways. That’s my piece I really am moving, to open my production company as a part of my business HurCom Solutions is the name of my business. My production company is actually I already named it, it’s called No Matter What Productions.

I love it. So that’s why is your goal? Is your goal to produce your own show this first one even? Are you the first one?

Probably not. The first one is my goal. But the first one is like to learn, learn, learn the business. I want that show picked up by people who can help you learn because I actually want to be hired as a writer on that show, as well. I want to learn the business. And then yes, I really do want to put my other things under my production company. So that’s one thing. And then the other thing is a venture that you and I, you know, you brought me I saw a big problem. You know, how they always say, if you identify a problem, and you can solve it, you can really create something great.

Well, Lynne saw a real problem when she experienced me?

Yeah, but Kathy, you’ve always been the kind of person, tell me I want to learn and learn right and so we have this conversation we’re on this mastermind I’m on this retreat, and we have this conversation. And you know, Kathy says, I really love to work with you again. But I’m just wondering if you would give any thought to doing a group for white people like me who really don’t know about racism, but want to learn and do something about it? And Kathy, you can tell them my response. No.

It was more of the Hell no, it is not my job to teach white people.

There you go. But then again, right. I mean, we were together, what, three days at the most? And, by the end of that time before we left, I was already working on the landing page for the program, right? I already was because I knew once again that voice that said, No, you are supposed to do this. And so Dare To Leap. Right? We have the first one. There’s 8 people. I’m good. All right, I did it. I’m done.

And she kept saying throughout this whole process. It was one white guy. And like, how many white women? Seven white women and one white guy and oh my gosh, we learned so much. Oh, it was amazing how much we learned. But the whole time Lynne kept saying this is it Don’t be asking her anymore. Not doing anymore. I mean, almost every time this is painful. hurt me. I don’t want to do this anymore. This last one. I hope you’re getting this. Right. Don’t be asking. Than what happened, Lynne?

AllI know is we went into Okay, fine. I’m doing one more. And I said that. This is good. You better get it. You better stay in because this is it? I don’t feel anything else. Right. I don’t feel unloved. I’m not sure if this is what happened. But I’m kind of guessing that you kept looking at me and going Oh, dear, God needs to know so much more.

Like everybody needed more but already knew that. I know that coming in, that’s a long distance a long track if you want to learn if your wipers and really wants to learn about racism, it’s a long track, right? So, I knew that I just didn’t think I was the one that you need to be tracking on with. And, then I tried to get out of it again, because we actually only had three people, right? And I said, Listen, it’s small. So, it’s okay, if you don’t want to do it. And everybody was like, but we do. And it was fabulous. I have to say it was a it was really fabulous. With three people. It really it was fabulous. It was absolutely was and so and once again. Okay, this, is it. Not gonna do another one. And two things happen? Actually, again, because Kathy was one of two white women who asked me at the same time to what I do, but she was also at the high-end mastermind retreat with us.

And then what happened this time is two women who were referred by one of the white women who was in the first round. They just emailed me and said, Any chance you’re going to do another group? And I said, I don’t think so. But you know what? Stay in touch. I’ll email you. I’ll let you know. And I believe it was a week later, George Floyd was killed. And the world just, you know, flipped right upside down.

And so many white people were looking for something. And so I contacted them immediately and said, Look, I’m going to do a group. I’ve been in September. And so if you want in, you know, I interview everybody, because you have to really be the right person in terms of ready for the journey, right? Because it’s a six-month journey, and it is work. And then I opened it up. And I didn’t even do ads. I didn’t no ads. I just you didn’t know marketing.

You really didn’t do any marketing. Did you just put a post on Facebook?

This is what I’m doing in 48 hours. That filled with 12 people who were ready to be interviewed. I said, Oh my goodness, other people want it. So, I opened up a second group 24 hours later, that was full. And then you had me do a workshop for your community. And I knew that there was not enough room for all of the tickets. I mean, remember people were signing up for interviews while I was doing a workshop.

So, I say, Kathy, look, I don’t want to turn them down. And there’s enough of them for their own group. And so, it was a third group. And then you are wanting to continue. And then the people who had left from the first group all wanting to come back. So, there’s a fourth group. And then I interview this amazing man, and we get to the end of the interview. He’s like, I’m all in and I tell him the date and time he’s like, I’m in the UK, that’s 1:30 in the morning. He said, any chance? If I get people here in the UK, I do all the work and I get people want to do the work? Is there any chance you would do another group during our timezone? And I’m sure that’s not my case. And I have a fifth group in the UK.

From zero, I’m never doing this again to five groups with one in Europe, that while Lynne, and that’s what happens when you Dare to Leap. And when you believe in yourself. And when you listen to that voice, your higher power, whatever you call that. That is telling you what you’re here on earth to do.

That’s right. And then I’m certainly living proof of it. And I honestly have to say, Well, my first reaction might be no, I always tune in. And when I tune in, and I get the Yes, I leap on that yes. And I think too many people hesitate. Or they want another opinion, or was that really the voice? Or is that for me? Maybe it’s for Kathy back there, though.

Openness for somebody, right?

I never do that. I always know. Okay, then that’s what I have to do, whether I understand it, whether it was what I planned on doing or not. It’s I’m always obedient to that. And that’s the other piece I think about leaping is that don’t keep waiting for it to come back around and hit you over the head with it.

Yes, I was talking to you know, first time voices for you. So, go ahead, take the leap. And I will honestly say it is some of the most meaningful work that I have ever done. And I’ve done tons of meaningful work I just have. But this is without a doubt some of the most meaningful work that I’ve ever done. So, I’m very happy to have taken that leap.

Well, Lynne, from somebody who is now in the third version of that, and as I mentioned, to work with you for years before that, also, I can tell you that you’ve changed my life. I mean, in just amazing, wonderful, powerful ways. I’m happier, I feel more empowered. When George Floyd died, and Black Lives Matter happened.

Thankfully, because of Lynne. I was not one of those people that was scrambling and going, what do I do? Do I just keep quiet? I knew what to do. I contacted Lynne immediately and said, will you do a workshop for me? Yeah. Because I’m not an authority on this. And you are that authority.

I appreciate you too, because you know, you had 60 people who showed up. And we did it like in a week and a half time. You put out the word and you had 60 people show up and 12 who signups interviews I mean, you know the work and that’s to me also the partnerships. That’s what happens when you leave to people actually want to help you to achieve what it is that you’re trying to achieve it I’ve never had to go alone at this. It may feel lonely at times. But I’ve always had someone brought into my life that wanted to help and inevitably did help. And so I think that people have to trust that when you do that, when you take that leap that the help that you need will come to me to.

Lynne, I know how strong you are. You’re probably the strongest woman I’ve ever known. Because you know you’re a black woman who lives racism every day. And who has to confront that every day. And I so admire you for all of those things. And I think that’s part of probably what makes you so strong and able to listen to that voice and have that courage to leap.

But there are many others out there who don’t have that level of courage yet. What advice do you have for them? When they are called to dare to leap when they even that little tiny? Oh, I think I might want to do. I think we can do it. Nice to have?

Well, first of all, you know, I’m big on breath. So, I advise you to take time to do some real breathing, just to really breathe and to be able to put yourself in a place of being settled enough to listen. Okay, and so now you’ve got that voice. And you know, it’s the voice and you know that it’s telling you to leap and you’re afraid to leap. And I want you to just envision what will happen to you, if you don’t, because that was the piece for me, I can’t live with knowing that there might have been another picture and there might have been another life, there might have been something else that I actually could be good at and enjoy.

But instead, I chose not to leap. I want people, I want you to really picture that. Because that’s exactly what you’re going to get if you don’t take that leap. So, take that first step. And honestly, if you can’t leap, then take the step and fall. You know what I’m saying? Just take the fall. Because sometimes it’s just okay, I could just get one foot off the ledge, and then let go. Because then you’re there, right? You’ve essentially taken the leap, and you just keep going once you have, because if it was never a smooth ride, right, those beginning years after even, you know, hiring Jen Kem, as my coach was never a smooth ride. There was lots of times when I questioned, is this ever really going to be what I wanted to be in have envisioned it to be?

Take the first step. Honestly, if you can’t leap, take the step and fall. Because sometimes all it takes is one foot. Click To Tweet

But I knew that if I didn’t keep going, it certainly never would. But it was just not a chance that it was ever going to happen if I stopped. And that’s the thing that I think that you have to really consider and think about and then just go and then reach out to someone you know, who will encourage you. Because that’s the other piece I think we reach out to the wrong people we reach out to the people who are too afraid to even listen to this podcast is much less take away. Right and you’re calling them poor, that’s really a lack of courage.

They won’t even listen. So, you’re calling them for advice or courage right? Now. Find out who you know, who has that kind of courage and call them reach out to them and just say help me hold on and do what’s next. Right? I also do believe very much that you have to invest in your business and yourself. You just do. You have to get people who know more than you do, or smarter than you do you know that you’ve just said that right? You got to do that. Because you really need help to do this. And nobody knows everything.

So, get the help, hire the person. Maybe you don’t have the funds for the big bucks coach yet, but you probably have the funds for someone who can help. Right? I really think that you’ve got to do that it’s got to be something different than what you’ve already been doing in order for you to get different results.

And Lynne, I have a rule of thumb now that I’ve gone through this and I’ve had lots of different coaches, I’ve made lots of different prices. I kind of have a rule of thumb on how I decide how much to pay or what next level to go to do you I’m happy to share mine If you want me to but I want to hear yours.

I don’t really have a rule. Let me tell you, let me back up and tell you all the very good person before Jen Kam. I keep reminding myself of all the good that she did, because I’m gonna tell you I pay way too much for her. I’m gonna tell you way too much for her. Yeah. And that’s a mistake that happens. But you know, I grew from that, too.

But I will say the one thing that I have is, I will look to work with people that I know are good. And I will keep looking. If their prices are to me like, wow, this is high, but I know they’re worth it, you know, but it’s high, I keep looking for opportunities to work with. And that happened with me with another coach is that I mean, she is well worth and really charges up there. And she just happened to be wanting to test out a new program.

And it was like so much less than her other ones. And even that was a stretch for me, right? But I knew it was a stretch I could meet. But it was like, Oh my gosh, this is my opportunity to work with her. And it’s actually something that’s within my reach, I’m going to do it. And I think that’s what you have to do too, you could maybe have a list, right? This would be first I can afford second. And this will be my dream, right? And keep following them to see if you can get a chance with them.

I totally agree with you on that. Could you talk a little bit about I love that word stretch that you use? So, somebody’s like, Well, here’s what I can afford, right? And then you go no, that’s not where you want to go, what you can afford. That’s pretty much what you’ve been getting. Right?

That’s right. That’s about the stretch when you said I could do it, but it was a stretch. Yeah, that feel like what is that? Oh, that was why that thing that was quite incredible for me. And it is a good thing, because I’ll tell you what happened is that I did the interview with the coach that who I really wanted to work with.

And I was very nervous to do it. Because I knew that I was going to say I really can’t afford it. Because I’m gonna tell you zero dollars in the bank at the time, honestly, zero in the bank. But, I just really wanted to see what this was about and what the price was going to be and then tell me the price. And I said I got zero dollars. So that’s not going to happen. And she gave me something to stretch. She said, Okay. I can’t believe that that’s not going to happen. So, I’m going to give you 48 hours, and then let me know.

And when I got off that call, I said are you really stoppable for that amount? And I said, Oh hell no, I’m not stoppable for that amount. And I just sat down honestly, what I did was I wrote to five different people and asked if they would invest in my business for a certain amount. And I would pay interest on it. And this is when I knew I could pay it back. And I am one person gave me the whole daggone thing.

I love that. 

You know, so many people are afraid to as. It doesn’t cost you anything to ask. And the answer is already no if you don’t ask. The answer might be Yes.

And I think that you have to stretch yourself in that way. Because you’re trying to get to another level, you’re trying to get new results. And as you said, if you’re saying I can’t afford it, then you’re going to get the same results. Because that’s all you have been saying.

I told you I went on to that call with zero dollars saying, I’m just going to tell I can’t afford it. It’s like I send them and she posed the question or the challenge to stretch me and I decided I was going to stretch. And I decided it because I decided that working with her was the intention was to stretch. So then how could I do that if I didn’t find the way to work with her. And that’s and that’s what happened and I paid him back in full long ago.

And the person the friend that lent me the money that invested in me or whatever and it was and I can tell you boy, did she stretch me and it’s been an incredible ride to your right like my first one. I overpaid. So maybe that what wasn’t the best coach but she at least taught me that I needed to invest in coaches like I really believed that that she made that much of a difference. Like I had no website I had no idea of any of the kinds of things and by the way, she got me an incredible VA who is the whole time I got her out there I didn’t even know what.

Your talent is what you bring to that specific engagement. So nobody does (insert skill) like you because of that talent that you have. Click To Tweet

That’s right. I didn’t even know what that was. And so yes, and she has rode with me this whole time, and I can’t do it without her. So, I did get something out of it. But I think you’ve got to listen, if you’re sitting here waiting to hear something that’s going to convince you to leap, right, or to stretch yourself and say, I really have to be able to afford this, then I’m going to tell you that you just heard it. Now. Now really do it. Because truly I have, you know, you and I talk about this all the time, Kathy, like, we were the elders in the right, and we’re running out and you know, we got it,

I was crying. And I’m like, crap, that makes me feel even worse. So much younger than me. But, you know, listen, if we’re doing it, we’re doing it. We’re gonna leave, you know. And so I mean, you’re starting your own production company at this age. You’ve still got a lot of time. I’ve still got a lot of time. Hey, here’s what I was looking at. Now, look at the presidents of the United States. How old are they? They’re a lot older than we are. And they’re running the country. Yeah, so we definitely can do all of it.

Yeah, I think you just got to do it. Don’t wait, just, if it’s what’s in your heart, you came to listen for reason. So just go ahead, do it. And I don’t believe you’ll be sorry, not mean that you won’t have some rough days, some days where you will say, Oh, god, what did I do, but you will also get to the other side of that you just well, and you just got to do it.

Be so much more fulfilling. And the word that you brought to mind for me while you were describing that. If you don’t do it is regret.

Big time regret.

Oh, that’s the one thing I don’t want as regret.

Me either. I have some already. So, I don’t want this to add to the list, making a high pile of wood that I can just throw fire on someone. Now. I don’t want to add, I really, truly want to, I believe that I’m here to do everything that I am supposed to do. Like I want to leave here. You know, Oprah says that all the time you stop, like, use me up use it. And I have to say that I talked about that, I knew that I was going to be an entertainer, the beginning, I told you all the things I did, I have a lot of talents.

I just don’t believe that I’m here to waste any of them. Right? I have to do it. So, if you have one talent, why would you waste that? And please understand what that means. It means that there may be half a million life coaches or half a million, you know, virtual experts, or half a million, whatever else. But your talent is what you bring to that specific engagement, right? Nobody does virtual expert like you because of that talent that you have.

Nobody does life coaching like you because of that talent that you have, which is also the reason why people are not your competition. Right. And that’s why you can build a network with people who do the same thing as you or people who do different things than you because you don’t see them as competitors. Right? You see them as people who are on the same path as you are maybe even collaborators at some point, but there’s definitely not a reason to think oh, there’s already so many of X, Y and Z in the world. Why do they need me? Now they need you because your specific talent is missing. It’s a gap in the market and somebody is waiting for that talent to help them achieve their dreams. That’s really what it is.

Yeah, so many words of wisdom there. Okay, so I have one more thing I want to talk about. That you made me think of because I unfortunately I hear this way too many times from women, but never heard it from a guy. But I’ve heard it from a lot of women, which is I believe in myself. I’m willing to stretch. I’m willing to figure out where to get the money.

But where I’m going. My husband says no. Or if they’re not married, my mom, my best friend, my sister, whoever it is that they go to for support says, No. Makes me doubt in myself. Who’d like my mom, who do you think you are? That’s what I always heard. So, any tips? Because that is devastating, that just like pierces your heart and makes you go, oh, who did? To think I could dare to leap?

Yeah, so I’m gonna say, in transparent and totally transparency. I was thinking about this today, you know, my husband passed away in March. And he was one of my biggest fans, like a big fan. So, I don’t speak from the place of, you know, my husband said no, or whatever, right? I don’t speak from that place. I will say to you, that’s a very difficult place to be in, if that is where you are, that is a very difficult place to be in.

And then I will say to you, so are you stoppable for that? I mean, is that really what you’re stoppable for that what you know that you are supposed to do? Or what you know that you are dreaming of doing that you just long to do that you know that you would be so good at the you know, that you could help so many people. Are you stoppable for someone else’s comments and opinions, I think you’ve got to really look at yourself for that.

Because if you’re stoppable for that, then you know what your stoppable, period, you’re not going to do this journey anyway. And that can’t be you, that just can’t be you. I don’t believe that. I believe that it is a very difficult journey, when people don’t believe in you. But it is not an impossible one. And so, you’ve got to decide if that’s what you’re stoppable for.

And then you got to just push on. And you know, my kids were little, I chose my husband and we chose to raise them very against the culture. Kids get spankings kids get belittled, or just they’re not their voices don’t count. And lead chose to do something different. And all along the way. Oh, these kids are in charge. Oh, what is little? What are you doing? And I would always say to myself, the proof will be in the pudding. I have a long way to go. like they’ve got to grow up for me to prove right, that we were write to do it this way.

But I truly believed I’m like, I don’t care of the proof will be in the pudding. And my sons are amazing. They’re just these amazing human beings. Wow. You know, who raised you? Right, that kind of thing. So sometimes you got to just push on knowing that you’re going to prove them wrong down the line. And it may be a long time down the line. But you got to know, that’s okay. I’m proving everybody wrong. And I’m starting today.

Yeah, exactly. There was a woman two years ago came to my program, and in talk to me, and I knew she would be amazing. And she was all in. And then she went and talked to her husband and her husband not only said hell no, her husband really said some things and put them in an email to me that I went back to her and said, I’m really sorry, but I’m not gonna be able to accept you into my program. And she stepped up.

And 24 hours later, she emailed me begging me, please talk to you. I need to be in your program. I’m so sorry. What my husband wrote, that will never happen again. I am doing this without his permission, because I know this is what I am meant to do. And she did it. And just this week, she shared with me that Guess what? Her husband has joined her business. There you go. He’s all in now.

There you go. That’s right. Sometimes like I said, ask yourself that question. Am I stoppable for this? If I am then I’m just stopping in general, this isn’t really a dream, this isn’t really what I want to do. Right? Because it’s probably going to be the first of many obstacles that will try to get in your way. I love that story.

Okay, I’ve got the hardest question of all for you now. And is uniquely difficult for you. Oh, because of everything you’re doing. So, people that are listening to this, and you know, they’re going to be going, Oh, my gosh, I have to work with Lynne. She’s amazing. That’s exactly how I was when I met. How do you want people to contact you? And how can they find out more about you?

Yeah, so you always can find out more about me at my website, LynneMaureenHurdle.com. And I think that’s a great way to find out about me, buddy, listen, if you’re interested, you know, look, most people do not like conflict. And most people do not know how to engage in it, and make it work for them. The people that stand out are the people that can fearlessly step up when there’s some kind of disagreement right at work or in in a relationship, when there’s a problem in the way that people are relating to one another that is not allowing people to move past and to work together as a team, or when there’s a problem that you are experiencing as a leader and you know, you need to lead better.

And part of that is because you’re afraid to really engage in the conversations that help people see where the problems are, and then solution those problems. So, I absolutely coach people around that. I coach leaders who are interested in teams that want to be anti-racist, and want to really learn how to be an anti-racist business. That is absolutely a part of what I do. Or you can email me. It’s Lynne@LynneMaureenHurdle.com and reach out to me directly. If that is something that you want to do on the on the matter race of race group that Kathy is in, we have a waiting list, and that is up on my website.

Get on the waitlist, but you see what keeps happening. Because the other thing is to that I actually went to the waitlist because as I said people interview for this for that program. And I’m not taking people who really aren’t right for it. So, I did go to the waitlist for this round of five groups. Because it is a program that has really caught fire. And it’s only going to catch more fire, because we are at the beginning of this six month journey. And I can tell you that with all of the people who are taking the journey word is going to spread for sure.

Lynne, thank you so much for sharing that we’ll share all of those links in the show notes. One more thing about this is those companies that are like doing really need to have How is it really going to benefit my company to have somebody talk about anti-racism and do all that? Could you address that a little bit because me as a business owner, I can tell you is helped tremendously. And I just want more and more and more help in that arena. But I don’t know how to articulate that.

Well, it’s two things that happen. One is you may be someone who does not have diversity in your business, or in your client community. And why not? You should and most of the time, you’re the kind of person who really would like to, but you’re just thinking, Well, you know, it just hasn’t happened? Well you want you can make it happen.

You just have to know how to do that. And the way to start that journey is to educate yourself to take the journey yourself around anti-racism and then to take it with your company like every entrepreneur, every CEO that I work with, wants their team to come along for the ride so that they can take the experience together. So, one thing is that you want more diversity and you want when you get that diversity, for there to be inclusiveness that people feel and know that they are welcomed, and that you are able to serve that community in ways that actually serve them.

Not in ways that serve the community that you had originally, right, you have to serve everybody. So that’s one thing. If you already have a diverse community, one of the things that I hear are people who I’m working with say is, I had no idea that I actually was making them fit into my version of everybody is all the same. And so everybody gets the same thing. And now it’s like, wow, how do I serve them? I really want to serve them because I want them here. I love them here. Right? I want them to feel like I love when I come to Kathy’s community, right. We feel that way with Jen Kem like love being there.

I love how diverse it is in love. It’s so much more fun. And it’s so much fun.

Yes, you feel welcome there, you don’t have to look around the room and go, Oh, my gosh, you know, is this really right for me? Or, you know, I know people of color here or there’s people of color here. But you know, is that just for show or that you’ve not only got the diversity, but you’ve got the inclusiveness, because you’re doing the work you’ve learned. And one of the things that I think that really that I know that that makes me stand out from the rest around diversity, equity and inclusion is my background in conflict resolution.

Because I can help you have those difficult conversations with some real skills around conflict resolution. And that doesn’t always accompany Diversity, Equity and Inclusion training. It’s up. And I feel like that is a piece that’s missing. And it’s a piece that you get with me because I’m never ever going to do one without the other. Right? Never.

Because even when I just do conflict resolution I always sew in diverse because I got to know about culture and your culture. And I got to help you understand how that is affecting the way that you engage or don’t engage in conflict.

And, Lynne, as I shared with you before, I think was before we went on air was that I really feel like if I hadn’t already worked with you on conflict, if I hadn’t already worked with you on leadership, I wouldn’t have been nearly as prepared to step up as a leader during this challenging time, during this black lives matter, during everything going on, but as a result of all three of those things combined with you, but you’re just talking about that everybody does need all three of those. I’m so much better prepared. Oh, yes, I still have a long way to go.

Awesome. Yeah, but the changes, I saw that when we were doing the conflict resolution work alone. And now that the anti-racism work has been added to it, you are at levels that are completely new, and really quite, not just wonderful, but also the service that you are doing to the world because of it is I think life changing.

Yeah. Thank you. And see, that’s how you are changing on the matter of race. You’re not just changing those of us who are in your program. You’re training everybody we touch. You’re really changing the world. I mean, and on a big scale, and I still value that. Well, I could talk with you all day long. And of course, we have talked deep long into the night with tequila shots.

We will again in the future, again.

I very much look forward to that. Thank you so much for spending this time with me and sharing all of your brilliance with our listeners.

Thank you for the invite. I really am honored and thank you, listeners for tuning in. Bye, everybody.

About Lynne Maureen Hurdle

DTL 014 | Lynne Maureen Hurdle

Lynne Maureen Hurdle, is a communication expert and conflict resolution strategist, facilitator, speaker, and leadership coach with over 35 years of experience in blending the connection between communication, conflict and culture into my unique style of engagement for leaders.

She is TEDx Speaker and the author of the best seller, Closing Conflict for Leaders: How to Be a Bold Leader and Develop a Kick-Ass, High-Functioning, Happy AF Team.

Her expertise is in engaging my clients with creative processes designed to create dialogue and teach skills that can be used in the most difficult leadership situations.

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