Women Attaining Success With Jennifer Love

I can promise you that this is not like any other interview I’ve ever done. I have with me the award-winning Shark Tank, conquering $100 million-plus raising woman with many years under her high heels. She’s a five-time serial entrepreneur whose international wholesale chocolate company called NibMor, was named amongst the top US food and beverage companies of 2016 and 2017. Her name is Jennifer Love. She’s a trailblazer with a heart that matches her name. She’s a money therapist and the visionary CEO of One More Woman, the movement that’s leading high impact women entrepreneurs to become powerful with money. This interview is not what I thought it was going to be. It’s not what you think. Sit back and hold on to your panties.

I want to give you the gold nuggets of this interview before we dive in, but I am lost for words. As I reflect on this, we get up to the idea of being human. It sounds weird saying it. We talked briefly about Taylor Swift’s documentary on Netflix. We talk about spiritual bypassing and we cover the spiritual meaning behind the year 2020. It’s a lot of spiritualness, but at the end of the day, this conversation with the beautiful Jennifer Love is about how to be human and her deep and powerful message. It’s oozing out of her and if you pay attention to this, when she starts getting in and connecting to the work that she’s putting out into the world, you will feel her energy shift. I could see it on her and you can feel it in this interview. If you are a woman who is a high achiever, who has been on the train of achieving more and more and putting on different personas as you go through that world of accumulation of status and successes, but you’re feeling unfulfilled on the inside, then this is the episode for you. Without further ado, Ms. Jennifer Love.

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I’m excited about talking with you for my show. Thank you for making space for that. I always ask this, what are some of the areas around women rising that you’re most passionate about? We can go in a lot of directions.

It would be women rising and becoming limitless. What that means for me is true wealth. They’re learning how to be in true wealth and that’s a state of alchemy amongst the four worlds of humanity, as I call it. It’s about limitlessness and becoming truly wealthy.

Why do you think women are afraid of that?

I do think there’s a lot of fear around it. There’s not only one reason for that. There are multiple reasons. I wish it was a quick answer because then we could bottle that up and give an injection to every woman in the world, but to see and show through the lens of how and what I’m seeing, it’s coming back down to this sense of not knowing how to be. When I first started out on this journey in working on supporting women, I saw a lack of self-confidence, a lack of worthiness, a lack of feeling like she deserved it, not feeling loved, and not feeling good enough. We’ve heard much about this. This isn’t any new news for the state of women and what’s happening for women.

When I’ve been looking below the surface of that and I have the honor of going into the internal worlds of incredible women, I have come to realize and see that they simply don’t know how to be a human. Therefore, they don’t know how to be in a relationship with money or anything else for that matter. We put up all of these on different ways of projecting out how we think we’re supposed to be. For some of us, we’re even doing that in many different ways. We’re being one way here and would be in another way here, based on if we’re in front of the camera. If we’re in a private sit down with our team, how are we being in showing up? Sometimes it’s different because we think we’re supposed to do something a certain way.

I was perusing on Netflix and I saw Taylor Swift. I love her music and she had released a new behind the scenes movie or documentary. She talked about this exact thing about how she showed up. She was trained and she trained herself. She was taking ownership of it to show up for claps. That’s what she did and everything to make other people happy.

That’s what I’m finding in high achieving women. I’ve got a little bit of a theory going on. I’m feeling a little naughty about sharing it. Part my theory is that it is not for all and for many. The more achieving we become, some of what is driving that achievement are this feeling of lack, this not-enoughness, “I don’t deserve this. I’m not lovable. Therefore, I have to work hard to be loved, to be whole, to be human, to be okay, to be safe on this planet, in my body of work, with my team, with my partner, with money.” I’ve got this little theory going that for many, the more achieving me are, the more issues we had what’s going on.

The layers are there. You’re talking to the old me. It gets more exhausting to create those different personas.

It gets exhausting, but we also become good at putting up the fences. Whatever flavor that is, for me, it was The Hulk. It’s like, “Let me bulk up the moment.” When something gets triggered, the green blood shifts and it surges through my veins. I was like, “That’s my flavor. My sweetheart is a dickhead.” For someone else, she has temper tantrums and is up in the clouds and she’s got the slave-driver whip out on herself and on others. How we express these things and have versions of it for ourselves can be different. It’s important to understand the nuances of that, the character of her younger self that is in relationship with the protector self in us. Our whole self needs to come and wrap her arms around all of it so that we can become our true selves so that those walls in the armor and the unhealthy or big boundaries. We don’t want to let anyone in because they see what’s here. That’s going on and it’s all over the place. I’m looking forward to seeing Taylor Swift’s documentary. I saw the preview for it. It looks like she’s getting raw and real in this with what she’s been through in her journey, her own stories, how she made it all mean, and how that’s influenced her career and the decisions that she’s made. She’s like, “I’m done.”

“I don’t care if you clap.” For women like this, what is the trigger that they start cleaning up this mess? What’s the difference between the ones that make some shifts and the ones who get to do it?

There’s one reason that brings them to do this work on themselves. I call it money therapy. There’s a whole other set of things that are required once you’re in the money therapy. You see all the shit. I was like, “I know it was way worse than you ever imagined and it’s okay. It’s all beautiful. It’s all good. This is who you are. Welcome to who you are and what’s going on and what’s running you. Congratulations, you’re human and let’s take the next step in.” There’s this deep excavation process that has to happen after the self-awareness.

I think that’s what’s missing because this stuff has been talked about for ages. You had my attention when you said, “What’s underneath that?” Everybody’s talking about confidence and people aren’t healing. Women aren’t healing.

We’re going in these circles. There are some women that are healing and I want to give them credit. There are certain layers of healing happening. I think what you’re speaking to here is that deep inner core healing as a society, a whole race of women collectively, we’re hurting deep inside. Our inner selves, our true selves are begging and crying to be seen, loved, held, step out, express, live, allow. We’re begging for it and it starts with ourselves. The more I do this work, for myself, hands with and supporting others, the more I recognize the power of doing your work and the layers of that. You got to see the shit. Let’s get the microscope and let’s get the magnifying glass. Let’s figure out what’s going on in those parts.

Let’s get all the pieces out on the table.

Get all up in all your worlds of humanity. Let’s get you. Let’s see what’s going on up in there. There’s a lot of shit and a lot of gold. It’s not all that, it’s way worse than we ever imagined. It’s also more beautiful we could’ve seen. It’s like, “Let’s excavate this and then let’s take the next step. Let’s look at how to be with our goal.” Let’s look at how to feel into that and receive in that and give from that place of, “I don’t need to hide. I don’t need to posture. I need to be me.” It’s simple, yet we make it complex. It is the most basic human thing, yet we are all over it.

We try on a million outfits to try to avoid being.

I am raising my hand and continue to be on this journey for myself as well. We all as humans are experiencing this, not just women. We as women have unique chemistry and relationship with our emotions. We have a unique biological and neurological makeup that expresses itself or needs to be handled with some real TLC. We need care. It’s funny how basic what I’m saying is, but it’s hard because it’s such a profound truth and we are not living in it

I’m on my own journey too, but I can get it. I’ve lived with what you’re saying. If I think about my former self and I think about you, reading this, whoever that is, it’s like she’s going, “She’s off her rocker or that sounds nice.” It bounces off of them, that high-achieving woman that’s on the train. She’s still on the train going forward.

It’s like a horse on the race track with the blinders on. She’s doing what she thinks she’s supposed to do. In fact, because of where she’s positioned herself, she’s absolutely doing the right thing. The problem with it is that she’s not living it. She’s living a half-life. She’s not enjoying sex or intimacy. Her physical body is falling apart and maybe she even has an eating disorder or some unhealthy relationship with food and body. She’s got headaches. She’s suffering from anxiety and she doesn’t want to deal with it. Then emotions, “What are those things? I don’t want to deal with that. They’re bad. Sadness, disgust, judgment, shame and guilt are bad things. I don’t want to feel them, so I’m going to stuff them down. I hope they go away.”

I can tell you I’ve tried this. I hope it isn’t a strategy. I want to save that one woman who’s reading. Hopefully, one million then trillions, but what happens when you do that is you will shut down. Your body will stop working for you. Don’t let that happen. I’ve tried that multiple times.

Michelle, you’re right. Your body will stop working. In fact, emotions are funny because they are in motion.

They’re meant to keep moving.

They are like the wave of the ocean. They’re going to move. If you’re not going to be with them, if you’re not going to sit down and be like, “Sadness, let me put my arm around you. What’s going on? Tell me more.”

You’ve got to be with them.

You’ve got to be with your emotions. Not only be with them, but you also got to listen to them. When we don’t, that repression expresses yourself through our bodies. It comes out in all kinds of nasty ways, even worse, it gets louder. It’s like The Hulk or the dickhead temper tantrum or the wicked witch.

Instead of a headache, you can’t get out of bed because you have a headache all day, every day.

You literally can’t control your thoughts. Your emotional world goes completely out of whack. You are rigid. You’re spending much energy trying to manage what you’re repressing, rather than dealing with what you’re repressing. You’re spending all this energy that’s exhausting the heck out of you. That’s stealing money from your bank account. It’s stealing impact that you could be making in your clients’ lives. It’s stealing from your time with your family and your relationships. We have made emotions bad and wrong. I’m here to say emotions are our friends. They are like our North Star. They are the truth-tellers. It doesn’t make them right, but it is your truth. Emotions are your truth.

Why would you want to hide? That is the first barrier we put up is when we don’t acknowledge the truth of our emotions.

We don’t stop to listen to them. We don’t stop to be with them because we’re told as a society, we’re told as women that we shouldn’t feel what we feel. Yet, the only way through to the other side, anger becomes love, fear becomes real power. We let it transmute. We let it die. We let it transform because we’ve listened to it, we’ve sat with it, we’ve let it work us in a healthy, appropriate way. It transmutes into something beautiful. We’re sophisticated as humans and we don’t even totally get our levels of sophistication. Even with all of the science, the neuroscience out there. I picked up a National Geographic magazine on emotions. I was laughing as I was reading through this. I was like, “We’re confused about emotions.” We have no freaking idea how to accept this or talk about this as a society. There are all these different theories in the psychological world or the neuroscience world, but there are many conflicting data. We don’t have a freaking clue about the inner complexity of who we are and how we’re being. We’re trying to figure it out rather than being. I find it hugely ironic and I’m doing it too. There are lots of humans also participating in all of that and I’m saying, “What are we doing? What’s going on?”

I have this thought around the importance of emotions being the first little tap on the shoulder like, “Pay attention, something’s going on here.” You talked about the tapping got louder and louder. It is similar to hitting you over the head until you pay attention. That’s the first indicator, the first warning light.

Michelle, you’re right about that. That’s part of why we’re having such a hard time with beingness is because think about it, look around the world, we’ve got much white noise everywhere. That’s begging for our attention. We’re giving our attention to all these things except ourselves. We’re listening into like, “What’s going on with the impeachment?” “He got acquitted.” “What does that mean? Is that going to screw up the power of the presidency moving forward in history?” I’m not saying that we shouldn’t pay attention, but there are many things that are out there and then it gets the nuance. The media is begging for us. We, as a society, are creating more free exchange. We are having more access and less privacy, less intimacy with others, but also with ourselves. There’s all this noise that interrupts our ability to hear what you said.

It’s quiet.

It’s super quiet. It’s super nuanced. It’s a relationship with ourselves and the for different worlds of our humanity, how to be in each of those, how to relate with ourselves. Being is a relationship with our body, our spirit, our emotional world, our mental world, and our psychology. It’s a relationship of all of these different parts, how they’re interrelating together and how they’re expressed. The emotional world is getting loud that it’s like, “You’re not paying attention, so I’m going over to the physical world. Listen up, heart attack, stroke, cancer, and knee pain.” It’s all interconnected, but we’re not listening.

What are some of the ways that you have found to start listening better?

Much more silence and spaciousness. What’s funny is my take on silence. Years ago, I went and did a ten-day silent meditation retreat, Vipassana. It was intense. It was doing emotional surgery in a safe environment with a sharp scalpel. I know that sounds terrible, but it is one of the best things I ever did for myself. In the silence, it’s not silent. When I was sitting in the Vipassana for those ten days, the first three were gnarly. It took me five days to be with myself. In that beingness, the silence wasn’t silent. It was loud. The wind or the bugs, the nuances of life. There is much that we are missing. There’s much that we’re not hearing. Literally, sitting in silence, meditating, some might want to do it. This isn’t anything revolutionary here that I’m saying but the spaciousness, rather than filling it up with all of these things that we think we need to do, we’re trying to get love and feel the love tank rather than loving right here.

Don’t we need more time management? Don’t we need more time balance?

The time management and all that stuff, it’s like a bike. It will take care of itself. When you make butter, you get buttermilk. It’s like focusing on making the butter, focused on being and you’ll get the buttermilk. It’s delicious and you don’t even have to work for it. You don’t have to do a damn thing. Maybe you have to have a few questions. Maybe you have to squeeze it out of the bag, but it’s not complicated. It’s quite simple. We make it complicated because we forgot how to be human. We forgot how to stop and listen. We forgot to create spaciousness. We forgot that we are sitting on this planet with our energy, enough not doing a damn thing. My presence here with you and your presence here with me is enough. It is magical, wonderful and transformative to sit and share space.

What I love about this is I can see in your real voice coming wide out of you. It is beautiful. This is your jam. This is you. I see you.

That is the greatest compliment I could ever receive. Thank you.

You’re welcome.

We can all find our jam. We can all find our voice of truth and that’s what I’m taking a stand for because I’ve had to do the work to find it for myself and all it’s been is coming home. It is the heroine’s journey. It’s beautiful. I can get to look back on my own life, in my own walls, pain, struggle, hustle, whatever word you want to fill in the blank with and be like, “That was awesome and that was gnarly.” I thank you for that lesson because I needed you to remember. I needed you so I could come home because I’m the kind of person, the human, as I want for all of us to not settle on living a half-life to be willing to move towards our desire of being deeply satiated. Imagine a world where we’re all deeply satiated or we have space for art, truth and others truth. Imagine a world like that. Imagine a world where we have that balance alchemy in amongst ourselves, in our inner world, and how we are with others. That is true wealth. It’s not the money in the bank. That’s one fraction of it. It’s an important part of living in this physical plan on this planet. I get it. I have a prediction that the way in which we exchange is going to continue to evolve as consciousness continues to rise.

How do you see that in your vision forming? What will it look like perhaps?

We can see how things are moving digital. It’s in the process and in the future, I sense if we continue to ascend, 2020 is the year of ascension. If we continue to do our work and we continue to allow as a collective the consciousness to rise, we’re going to go back to what real exchange is and what real value is. “I’ve got something you need. I’m going to give it to you and I know that you’re going to do the same for everyone else.” When you are nourished and deeply satisfied and satiated, you’re going to pass it along. You’re going to help others be satiated and satisfied in their life. They’re going to do the same and this value exchange will move more inflow of that than in, “Here’s how much something costs.” How are we assigning value to this is how much this costs.

The relationship between how we are valuing exchange is going to shift. It’s going to begin to change in our lifetime and it is going to require the surrender of ego. It is going to require us recognizing ourselves as beautiful humans that we don’t need to look at someone else’s beauty and be threatened by it. That we can say, “Look at that, amazing. I am more not less because of it.” It is a basic principle that we are not as a collective, as a human race or race of women living by. We forgot what it’s like to be home in ourselves, as a human on this planet, in our bodies. In fact, many wanted to bypass it. There’s all this bypassing that’s happening. We hear a lot about that in the spiritual bypassing. What does that mean? “We’re jumping over the real work that needs to be done.” I’m sorry, but you don’t get to jump over your emotional world.

Can’t we quantum leap that?

No, you can’t ignore them and leave them behind and expect to be living a full life. It doesn’t work that way. We’re human. We skip over any part of ourselves and we’re going to leave part of ourselves out. We’re not going to be fully living. Bypassing doesn’t work. I know it sounds great and pop psychology sounds awesome. Pop psychology is doing more damage than it is good, in my opinion.

It will come around. It’ll pop up like a health scare, which is what we talked about quite a bit. Some people put it under the umbrella of midlife crisis or you might get all the way through that. You can talk to a successful woman who’s at the end of her career and they’re finally starting to have that human experience.

We don’t have to wait. We don’t have to delay living wealthy. There’s no reason that we need to do that. We don’t need to hustle and make all the money and then live. It doesn’t work because then you don’t have relationships. You don’t have your health. You’re psychologically a hot mess. You’re filled with anxiety. You’ve thrown away your emotion so you don’t know how to be with them and you’re not enjoying life. Congratulations, you made all the money but is it worth it? Are you going to be able to enjoy it? Are you going to have to spend a lifetime unwinding what you did so that you can live and enjoy life? I’m not saying making money is bad. I am an advocate about making money, but they are not mutually exclusive. They go together.

I’m guessing you will say, but I’m asking, is it money energy?

It is. Money is our own energy. I’ve only had money is simply a reflection of our inner state of being, expressed out in a physical state in the world. How much money we have is a physical representation of the way we’re being, who we are, and how we feel. I know lots of women, I bet you too, that knows how to make a lot of money, but they don’t know how to keep it. They don’t know how to manage it. I don’t know how to be with it. They’re terrified of it. They let men or partners steal from them or they’ll compulsively spend like, “I can’t hold onto this. I’m going to put this over here.” They spend money and then they’ll have a nice jacket or a nice grade purse or a pair of shoes I like, but those better because I don’t have to be with money. I’m going to be at this thing that makes me feel temporarily better. We’re not dealing with what money is, our feeling inside, who we’re being and how we’re expressing that out into the world and exchanging that with others. I feel strongly about these things.

I can’t tell at all.

I do. I feel deeply about these things I returned to being and how we can have much wealth, true wealth and satisfaction and what that will do for us as humans, for the animals, for our planet, for the universe, and in the spiritual world if you believe in such thing. When I sit back and I ponder on that, I get curious about that. I’m like, “That’s a global economic shift.”

It all starts with being.

Let’s try that on. Instead, let’s make more AI and let’s figure out how we can extend and live on this planet for as long as possible in our bodies and never die. Instead, let’s focus on all the things that we can do to exist but not being, to extend our existence to the lack of our beingness. Why are we doing this? What the fuck are we doing? I am not anti-AI. I am not anti-progress of our physical bodies and transplants. I’m not anti of any of that, but not at the expense. Not at the giving our attention to this instead of that. I think it’s destructive. It’s the opposite of what we were and are as humans.

The type of extensions that we’re creating in the medical world is to overcome the fact that we’re not spending any time being. They might not need those things.

What a concept. When I feel my body, it’s like my whole body breathes.

Me too. I feel like I went to the gym, the spiritual gym’s with you. Thanks a lot, Jennifer. I have a lot of being to do. That’s a big meal I had that I need to digest.

I got it, me too. May we all find our way into being truly wealthy. May we all find our way into being. May we all find our way home. May we all find our way into deep see shading, satisfaction. May we all find our way into lights, true and being with our darkness. What a blessing.

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I am dying to hear what you thought, what you think and what’s going through your mind. Do not delay. Go right on over and put your feedback in the comments. I’m wondering if this strongly resonates. I’m wondering if you’re like, “This is not something I’d been thinking about and I feel like I’ve been kicked on my ass or other fill in the blank.” I can’t predict what you’re thinking and feeling. That’s why I’m dying to know. For me, what stands out at this stage of my life, being a total recovering high achiever and I’m not recovered. I’m practicing not to have all those bad behaviors every single day. As a side note, those are behaviors that have served me well in many ways, but the one area that I’m often working on is to continue to develop and to go to the spiritual gym.

What stands out for me in this interview is when Jennifer talked about the fact that we don’t have intimacy with ourselves, let alone with others. If I’m thinking about the raw, honest truth, when you’re on that train, when you’re stacking up the accomplishments and the achievements and the success, there is no time for that. That chips away at you one little tap at a time until you can’t look away. I’m not looking for that for the next season of life and I’m not looking for that for you. That’s what’s on my mind. I would love to hear from you. Share with me in the comments, reach out, post a review. All our options, all our ways, I’d love to connect and hear more from you. Beautiful lady, until we talk again. Have a great rest of your day.